Alive Again

Like everything else in my life, my energy level goes up and down like a rollercoaster. Whereas with other things, like my mood, I can accept the ups and downs, I really do wish I could reach an equilibrium with the energy. It feels funny to be complaining about it now, when I am enjoying a nice burst of it, but when I think of how last week went, I don't want to go back there again. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I basically dropped the kids at school and went right back to bed, exhausted, and slept for hours and hours. Hard to get anything done that way. I hardly even cooked. We mostly ate frozen meals and pasta.

This week seems to be going a bit better. I am very happy about that. When I have more energy, I feel like doing more things, like going to yoga and listening to music during the day, and playing endless rounds of gogos with Second Son and French braiding Daughter's hair when the kids are home. This week, we have made it down to the riverside after school almost every day. So, things are swell, and I hope this lasts.

I notice when I am tired, I don't do yoga, even though I know that in the end it would probably boost my energy. I also don't listen to my favorite music, preferring the silence and most preferably sleep. Of course, I know that doing these things might give me more energy, but it's hard to get up and put a CD on when the force of inertia is giving you its all to keep you from moving.

I think it's going to have to be a case of mind over matter. Knowing it will help, I will have to force myself to get up and do things, even when the fatigue returns. This isn't anything new. The thing that has to change is that whenever I get tired, I forget about taking care of myself and eating energizing foods - and by that I do NOT mean energy drinks! - and I usually just curl up and go to sleep. Maybe I should make a sign to hang by my bed. GET UP AND GO! lol I wonder if that would work. Maybe something like REMEMBER YOGA. Not in the sense of don't forget to go, but more along the lines of remember how good it makes you feel. The important thing is to have the fortitude to get up and get the wheel rolling until I can function again.

I'll try. I've go nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Today, I do have everything. I have energy to function. I went to yoga practice, and although my upper arms were like jelly from Greg's class the day before yesterday, I managed to follow along and do everything except one little sun salutation wherein I came out of the downward dog for fear my arms would buckle. After yoga I ran some errands and got some work done. Now I get to listen to music. It's a Justin Rutledge day, I think. :o)