Sunday Worship - Buddha Says

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." - Buddha

This post isn't really following my path in chronological order, but I heard this quote on Monday night and wanted to share it. It is very thought-provoking.

Our guide at the yoga studio on Monday night, whose name is Samer Hassan, talked about this saying of Buddha's and really got me thinking.

I once heard a motivational speaker talk about how he made it to where he was today (running a business with his wife.) He told us of all their ups and downs, like when the old junker they used to drive broke down on the way to an important meeting. He told the story in a way as to make it funny, but he did say that it was very stressful, and that all through these kinds of ordeals he and his wife nurtured a dream of buying a new car, which they cut out of a magazine and put on the dash of their old one as a reminder of what they were working for. When he finished saying his little story, he asked, "What are YOU working for?"

He went on to talk about how he and his wife decided on a condo that they wanted to buy. The foundations hadn't been poured yet, but they had already signed up to buy one of the units. As construction progressed, they kept being asked to pay more money. They worked really hard and motivated themselves by looking at the advertisement brochure of their future home. Finally, it was built and paid for and they could move in. Again, the question: "What are YOU working for?"

So in this way he demonstrated that a person needs goals. One must know what one wants if one wants to obtain it. "What do YOU want?"

At the time, his speech had unsettled me because everything I had wanted prior to that, I had slowly let go of. My plans to open a daycare, my bright kitchen, the kinds of doors we were going to have in our home... With a wave of the hand, they had all disappeared. "That's too expensive." "That won't work." "We can't afford that." So for the next little while, I put on my thinking cap and opened my heart and sometimes despaired that I didn't even know what I wanted. I set out to set some goals.

On Monday night this week, I realize that I lost the balance somewhere. Sure, it's good to have goals, but it is also good to live in and appreciate the present. Lately, my life has not really been about the present.

"I will exercise more once my knee stops hurting."

"I will be happier once my divorce is finalized."

"I will get back to my favorite hobbies once the kids are old enough to enjoy them with me."

"I will build a house once I get a better job."

"I will eat healthier when the summer crops are in and food is less expensive."

I will, I will, I will...

Monday night, I realized I can't wait until later to enjoy life. The children are young now. We have to enjoy the present before they grow up and move out on their own.

This was quite a realization, but I admit I don't know quite where to go from here. But one thing is for sure. This is my life, my journey. I am on my way, and I have to seek the happiness here and NOW, not in the future. The future doesn't even exist yet. When it will, it will then be now.